I am existing at very strange moment. I know I have to keep myself in place but it's complicated not to get just carried away. I am so weakly tied to the world.
I have told this story to many times. I have found so many definitions for myself. And after so many years, so much effort, so much time spent in self discovery I once again don't know who I am. I am flooded with questions on what am I, who am I, where am I going and can I make it.
It was all so sudden. Just a very bright light. Imagine it like a car crash: it's as if I was driving and someone hit  my vehicle in the  middle of nowhere; I get up from the ground and stare at the collision and then slowly walk away from the chaos; I'm covered in blood and glass shards and it is now my duty to find my way back in the middle of my disorientation. Or like being suddenly blinded and attempting to cross the street. Or like trying to find your way to the bathroom late at night, half asleep, walking in the dark.
I feel like I just want to stare at nothing and be stuck in my own thoughts, like I could reenact old love and memories and rush thoughts like shooting stars across my head and I can just hide in my past or magically find the answer to my predicament. I am so full of self doubt and self confidence, all crashing against each other just struggling to find fifteen minutes at the time to take over me.
I am trying to figure out what I want because I'm not quite so sure anymore. I don't really know what's going on. Who am I?